Shalom,
because of the "TMS", a test for medical studies, I had to fly back home for one week. I was really excited about it and it was really nice to be there...but also strange.
So what where my expectations of coming back home? I really missed home, so I thought a lot about how it would be, if I would be back now. I thought my friends had time and we could chill all the time, I could drive again and ride my bicycle etc,. I thought everything would be like I left it. But, obviously it wasn't.
So when I landed my father and sister got me from the airport. And it rained. It rained a lot and it was the first time I asked myself "Why am I here?". But driving fast was fun. When we arrived at my mothers house, she cooked a big and marvelous meal, we drank a lot and had a great evening. I missed talking directly to my parents and it was nice to discuss some things I got on my mind from this voluntary. And then the moment. I went up in my OWN room. I fell in my OWN bed. A REAL bed. A BIG bed. And it was so quiet. No police sirens outside, nothing. It was too calm. I enjoyed it, but I barely could sleep. After waking up late, I went down and my mother made me a coffee and breakfast etc. I enjoyed it very much not to spend a thought about what I am eating in the evening, when I have to go shopping again etc., but I felt a little bit like a guest. A guest at home and that was kind of weird. After a calm day in the forrest I drove back to my home city Mainz to me one of my best friends. I was actually really nervous about it, because I thought, that everything changed, but it didn't. It was a really nice feeling to be with lifetime friends again. We walked 4 hours through the whole city and it didn't changed that much. I know, it is obvious, but I kind of had the expectation, that everything changed and I would miss so much. But no, we went to the same ice store, walked the same streets and talked about the same things. It was strange.
The next day I had the big test. I do not want to walk about it. In the evening nearly all of my friends I wanted to see, came into the same pub and we had a great melancholic evening! The days after that I just meet some friends, told the same story and enjoyed seeing back for some time.
Then on a Monday midday I ended up sitting on the couch without knowing what to do. I thought like, if I am back, everybody will have time. But on a Monday morning everybody is working studying etc. I felt a little bit lost and that was the moment I realized, that it wouldn't be that special and nice, if I would go back to Germany earlier. It opened my eyes a little bit, that all my homesickness was not about missing my friends and doing things with them. It was more about missing the past, before everybody started to study and to work. The time between school and the voluntary, where everybody had time and we were really relaxed. So it showed me, that I should look back all time, asking myself what I am missing in Germany, I should rather pay attention to what I am doing right now.
And also the mentality of the people in Germany annoys me a little bit, compared to the Israelis. I know I can't generalize it, but Israelis are just way more emotional and flexible.
Thanks for reading and lehitraot,
Samuel E. Kern
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